Daily Life Of a Drama Queen

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There is nothing more irritating then finding out you are a drama queen. I realized I was one of the many suffering from this horrible condition mere minutes ago. It started with me whining because I have been unable to change my address with my bank, alas before that I picked a tantrum because the bank had given me a higher credit limit...seriously? From there my symptoms became worse, I was upset because there were open juice bottles and dirty plates all over the counter. I cried when I noticed there wasn't any more tofu in the house. Immediately, after calming myself, I thought this could just be a symptom of that time of the month. I am a girl in case you were wondering.
However, that is not the case. In fact these symptoms and many like them plagued me long before I came closer to that horrible time of the month in which we shall no longer speak about after I finish this sentence.
The last straw that broke the camel's back and made me understand just how much of a drama queen I really am was when I went downstairs after my shower to find someone had changed the channel. I was watching an episode of "Supernatural" that I had already seen, in fact I own it. The lump in my throat grew to epic proportions, the shaking in my hands had me worried I may have something wrong with me. The cold sweats that appeared on my forehead followed by the whining noise in my voice made me realize I'm not only a baby but I am ... gulp..one of those girls.
You know what I'm talking about, those girls who has to have everything....all at once. Those spoiled rotten girls that just make you want to spit..on them!
After my diagnosis I came to the conclusion that I could do some good in the world. Spread the word of this horrible condition and gain awareness. It is not a laughing matter, many girls suffer from this Drama Queen Syndrome. Soon my sisters, and few brothers who suffer in silence, we will have treatments. Until then we will hold our heads up high following the slogan "Keep Calm and Carry on!"

Nothing more annoying than being Stuck!

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As I sit at my kitchen table watching three kids fight over the last of the milk, I wonder how in the world did I get here. I didn't have these kids, or adopt them. I only have one and yet I'm taking care of three extra kids. I treat them as though they were my own. This frightens me. More than raising my own son, who I am not so frightened about raising. I think it might have to do with the idea that if I mess up I will be letting down not only the three children but also their parents, if they were around.
Thus my question how did I get stuck?
I didn't set out on this journey, nor did I ask for it.
All I wanted out of life was to move to Europe and live as some kind of artist. Naive, I know. It was just my dream. Still is, and I'm working very hard to make it happen even if the odds are working against me. Even if my husband is neutral on the idea.
I am hoping that today will give me some kind of insight into the future, that I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I just hope that it is not a narrow view, that the light is brighter and closer.
Other wise I just might lose my mind!

Reading

By no means is this breaking news, I love to read. I am professional reader, if you went off by how much I read. I'll read almost anything you give me. I'll read things that will make me want to rip my eyes out, and things I will cherish forever. 

I read all of the Harry Potter books, and loved them to death. Keep them safe from everything...lol. I have read the Twilight series and to this day I still want to burn New Moon! I loved reading Sookie Stackhouse and her adventures. I enjoyed reading anything Jane Austin and Charlotte Bronte. 

The main thing I love about these books and others like them is they don't treat me as though my short term memory isn't working. I do not like books to keep taking step backwards and repeat themselves. 

For instance. "I knew he was wrong for me but I still loved him." 

a few chapters later. "I looked at him knowing he was all wrong for me but I couldn't let him go." 

AND THESE ARE BEST SELLERS!!!! Well, some are. 

I'm not one to put down authors. I think it is amazing to put for work you are proud of, I just want to know who proof read this work! 

I recently read this book about a vampire going to college who met this girl who had been sexually assaulted in high school.  I am pretty sure about five chapters could have been ripped out of the book and the story would have been fine. I know that it is hard to one come up with a story, and even harder to sell the story. I also know how hard it is keeping your facts straight while you write. I have come across NY bestsellers were the author made minor mistakes. example, " he said he'd come at five... a few paragraphs later... he arrived at my house at four like he promised". 

My concern is for the authors. Especially the independent author trying to make it, or even break into the mainstream. Shouldn't there be a filter somewhere? I mean at the end of the day the reader is going to blame the author not the copy editor or the proof reader.  

I hope when I am a copy editor I will not be letting authors down. After all as a lover of all books I would hate to be turned off of an author because I wasn't challenged all because someone wasn't doing their job. 

A post about nothing in particular

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Have you ever had one of those dreams where you don't want to wake up. You find yourself so happy, and everything seems so real that you never want to wake up. Well, last night I had one of those dreams. I was on my way to France just for a stop before I headed off to Oxford. I know my idea places to spend the rest of my days are far from the norm. I'd rather spend my time cozy by the fire reading a book while snowing or raining outside then being on a beach getting toasted. I am not a beach girl by any means! Sandals, shorts, sunscreen are all not my thing!
So when I woke up this morning to a hot room, my nose plugged up and my blankets ripped from my body pooled around my feet, imagine my sadness! Recently I had to move to a place that shouldn't be mention but just know this is a place where I'd rather have my skin pulled off slowly with a pair of rusty tweezers then be. Now that I have painted that picture you may scream here.
I'll wait.


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Ok, now that is out of the way on goes the continuing saga. Last night, or rather today for those who still read physical books, a book I pre-ordered in August was released. Oh it started off so good, like a great kiss under the stars with fireworks bursting in the background. I love the series, the author, EVERYTHING! I had planned on reading it all day just so I'd feel better and not so sad about my dream not really happening. My kindle on the other hand had other plans. You see in the midst of my excitement over the release of this book I had some how forgotten to charge my kindle. I was knee deep into the eleventh chapter when suddenly everything went dark, and I wasn't able to turn it on. My kindle made this horrific noise then flashed an image of an angry red battery with a lightening bolt running through it. I wanted to scream!
After plugging in my kindle I was asked by the husband to please find our product key to Word 2010. I have no idea where it is, so I called Microsoft and they could do nothing for me. I could however purchase a new code or upgrade! (eyes rolling)
Tired of feeling like I haven't accomplished anything,  I decided to cook.

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How very domestic of me...lol Now, back to writing! 

When do you stop being mad?

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How do you forgive someone when they deeply hurt you?
Let's say you have a person you feel protective over, cherish. This person is a child and you love them as though they were related to you in a sister way and not by marriage. When that person breaks your heart by thinking they know it all how do you forgive?
Responsibility can some times be taught when you show a child. For instance they show you they can handle event A on their own so you allow them to try out Event B on their own. Simple right, and then there is my dear friend trust. When teaching how important trust is you give a little and take back a lot when trust is ruined..right? In my world you have to earn trust. You have to earn you way through life and through mistakes, but what mistakes can be overlooked?
When a teenager becomes pregnant when do we celebrate? When do you stop being mad? When do you stopping looking at that girl as a walking tragedy? The worst part is how do you allow that person back into your heart when they show you they have learned nothing and continue to burn your trust? To me that shows I meant nothing to this person and there for I will treat them as such.
I do not celebrate irresponsibility, I do not celebrate stupidity.
There will be no  parties or shindigs were the "mother" gets to feel special. There will be no taking advantage of the gifts people give to first time parents. If this girl had been smart she would have used this as a learning experience to grow up. Sadly, as I have mentioned above that is not the case.
So again I ask when do you stop being mad?

Growing Pains

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As this weeks gets closer to the weekend I get more nervous. Tomorrow is my graduation day and I am none looking forward to it. For several reason actually and not one of them I can explain without sounding like a complete ass. I don't want to walk with over however many people I don't know, meet with administrators I never got to know and I sure as heck don't want to do it just for the degree I'm getting now. I wanted to wait until I finished with my bachelor's degree, so I can puff out my chest like a gorilla and proclaim myself proud. Alas, that is another couple of years down the road. UGH!!

Then there is moving day. 

I am moving to a place that I hate. I would rather have my eyes poked out with hot pokers as I fell upon spikes while being lit on fire. However, there is nothing I can do about this move. Life gave me a ton of lemons and all of my lemonade has gone sour. 

So as the week is coming closer to a close I am hitting life changes. I keep looking forward to the day when I can finally pack my bags up and be rid of this horrible state. I want to finally have peace in my life and write. I imagine myself wearing a comfy sweater sitting my fire while I write my latest novel at my antique 1910 writing desk. Perhaps I'll finally let go of my OCD and get a cat! That would be fun. 

So with this I am going to make this post short. 

I hope that all the Graduates out there are very proud of themselves, no matter what degree they are getting. It is great to finally see an end to a long tunnel. To everyone who is going through life changes for whatever reason I hope this brings you happiness. It is never easy to succumb to change, as you can clearly see I'm like an old lady when it comes to change. However, it is good to grow and stretch your wings. With that I leave you..Stay Nerdy! And congratulations on all your achievements. 

Phase one complete...

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I woke up this morning with a sense of urgency. There was something I forgot to do, but what was it? I followed my normal routine by getting my son ready for school, making my husband coffee and then I sat down to a rerun of Doctor Who. Still I felt as though there was something I should be doing. I reached for my kindle and flipped through my newly downloaded book collection only to find that I had nothing new to read.
So I opened up my trusty laptop and pressed the on button. I watched it slowly come to life, then quickly jumped on the internet. From the homepage I went to my emails, deleted a lot, read some. Went to my blog, looked at other blogs, made a few comments. Posted a few things, and still I wasn't getting any closer to what I thought I should be doing.
Then at last I went to my statistic class website and discovered I am done. HA HA.. There were no more homework assignments for me to do. My French class ended yesterday as well. I already know I have passed that class with an A.
I still have one more French class to take along with some English classes but that is the fun stuff. Statistics isn't the exciting love part! In fact if I could have I would have skipped that damn class or taken something similar but alas I have completed it. So far I have a B in that class and come April I'll know what I have ended that class with.
So now the road for my bachelor's degree is looking less bumpy. After trying to figure out what it was that I would be good at and accepting that there was only once obvious choice, it looks as though my dreams are finally going to happen.
This feeling of accomplishing something is incredible. I feel as though there is nothing I really can not accomplish. For the first time in my entire life I feel the speech "You can do anything," is actually true. When I was little and my teachers in Texas used to give me the above speech, I thought they were supposed to say things like that.  Granted at that time I had said I wanted to be a movie star! Ha. I was working on that path, and I was well received. However, as I got older and my mother wouldn't take me on auditions, I realized my chances of getting into the movies wouldn't happen. I have been, in my opinion, a little over weight and I don't think I am that pretty. Needless to say once again my self doubt got the best of be. Even with the positive enforcement from teachers and peers, I just couldn't do it. 
I wish there was some kind of magic potion that could zap away all the negativity we feed ourselves on a daily basis. I get why we have challenges, I even understand the best things out of life come from a little sweat and hard work.
This brings me back to my revelation...
The thing I forgot to do this morning was remember was how lucky I am to finally be on the right path for a change!