Sunday, 28 September 2014

What, were you too busy buying bossy pants to call?

This is a time of year where I loved to hang around the house with a thick sweater on while I am sipping on a piping hot cup of tea. I love the smells of cinnamon and baked goods in the air as I watch my favorite shows on television. What I love the most is the weather and the mood it puts me in. Unlike most people I enjoy cold weather and look forward to winter every year. Nothing warms my soul like snuggling on the couch with my favorite blanket while I read a good book.
This is also the time of year when my creative juices begin to flush in my head. I start having vivid dreams, ideas for what could make a good story. Up until the time I started blogging, I hardly let anyone read what I wrote. As I have been working on my latest project “Liam and Elise.” I starting thinking more about character personality, and the length of time I have put into making these two seemingly real. Something wonderful happened. I being to fall for these characters, even relate to them. I mean we have all been in a kind of relationship that consumes us and makes us feel connected. I wondered what it would be like to have an adult relationship where the two characters are so meant for one another they are actually bad for each other. Then it got me wondering if they decided to break up would they eventually find each other?
Normally I like to make outlines and have a plan as to where I want the story to go. I often see the ending forming in my mind as I make the outline out, and then I start to get the idea of another story as I go. Talk about attention deficit, Ha Ha! These are favorite parts of writing for me.  I have this lucky friend of mine who I make endure the painful process of reading my writing. She reads them while she is at work bored out of her mind. However, I like the comments and feedback that she gives me.
Just the other day she actually had to ask me if I had anything for to read. Obviously the answer was No. I have been having a hard time as of late trying to even write on my blog. Time is the easiest answer, the other is just flat out unable to come up with anything. I feel as though my mind is running in circles. 
The last time I had any creative juices flowing was when I had gone to Oregon and Washington. That was back in February, and I haven’t been able to write since.
So, what I have been doing is trying to create the mood. I have been trying to write down little snatches of what it is I have been thinking. Things I have been seeing while out and about. I tried desperately to keep the pulse of my creativity beating rapidly but it is so very rough. My writing is a difficult mistress. Unlike me she needs to be deeply nurtured, she needs constant attention and constant stimulus.

Reading has always been my other source of getting inspired, however that too has been letting me down. I have having a hard time even finding a book that I want to read. I am having a hard time even sitting down and not thinking. Perhaps it is the pressure of coming up with something that has been hindering my process, or perhaps I need to return to my muse. My anniversary is coming up soon and my husband has been talking about going to Canada. That makes me excited, since he also wants to go through Oregon and Washington. This time of year the enchanted Pacific Northwest might indeed be what I really need! 

Thursday, 21 August 2014

James Foley

I didn’t know James Foley but I do now. From what I do know about him he started out as a teacher, then became a reporter so he could bring awareness to what was going on to the people of Syria.
Men and women like him report on the ugly things in life. You know that stuff no one wants to hear, or cares about.  Why would anyone care about anything that doesn’t personally involve them?
I am not angry that we as people are like this, or at least the majority. That is just the way humans are I suppose. I am angry that James died the way he did. Unnecessary!
Again I did not know James, nor did I see the video depicting the end of his short life. I did however shed tears for someone I didn’t personally know. I cried for him wishing he had more time. I am trying not to cry now as I think of his parents and his brother. I read the transcript of the video, and it breaks my heart to know he was so broken that he blamed his brother and our country for his death. (Blaming his brother is what bothered me the most)
I pray he is in a better place now. I pray that his death was not in vain.I also pray for his family, and that they too find peace.
I also pray for all of us. I pray that we all take a moment to see James as a brother, a father, a son and a friend. As we should with anyone who dies a needless death we should take a moment to say, “I wish you had more time too.”
#remember, #jamesfoley, #neverforget

Sunday, 3 August 2014

#CandidlyNicole (My new obsession)

When I first heard that Nicole Richie had a reality show on VH1 I flat refused to look into it. Then one magical day she was a guest on on my favorite late night show "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson." Her personality on that show sold me on her reality show. Not a lot of people get Craig and when they do, it is pure magic my friends.
So, from what I understand her show is simply based off of her twitter feed, is part scripted and part whatever Nicole throws out there. The first episode I caught was about her going to an eye doctor to get glasses, she didn't need, in order for her to seem more in charge. I literally cried while laughing when she said with a serious face to the optometrist "No rectal." (I'm still laughing!) I am also still trying to figure out how one has an orgie and hula hoops at the same time!
From this single episode I have decided she and I must be friends! Or at least in my imagination, cause really it will never happen in any other way.
The point of this, of me even talking about Nicole, is this. I have a closet obsession with the "Keeping up with the Kardashians." Try as I may I can not turn away from that show. So when I discover a show that is drama free, like with "Giuliana and Bill," I flock to it like a seagull to a jumping fish. "Candidly Nicole, is a silly show really about nothing. Kind of like a real life "Seinfeld," There is no point to it, and there is no useless drama. This show is really just about a girl who "wants to be a respectable, grown up chicken farmer." Breath a sigh of relief that there is a totally awesome, and dope show out there that allows you to stop degrading yourself by having no other choice then to watch another "Bachelor."

"Candidly Nicole" airs Thursdays at 10 p.m. ET/PT on VH1. 
also check out

Sunday, 27 July 2014

Working on something..

For a while now I have been working on something. Every now and again I get little bits of the story that wants to be told. So I have writing down random things.
Here is one of the random things I have been writing. I am excited to see where it will lead!
I won’t change you 
I won’t ask 
Yes, you will. 
I just want you I don’t need forever just a life time 
You are willing to give up everything for me 
What about me 
What about you, I am giving you all of me 
You are giving me sixty seventy years tops, that is not enough! 
You will have all of me, the very best of me.  
Not enough..I need all of you

Sunday, 13 July 2014

Becoming French

So I have begun the process of registering my birth with the French government. My mother's entire side, including herself, are from France. So when I thought about it I decided it was time to get my citizenship. This is a part of my ancestry that I do not want lost because my mother was too busy doing whatever to make sure I was granted my citizenship.
While waiting for my new birth certificate in the mail I find myself going through a number of emotions. Some excitement and other nervous.
I am not sure what the entire process, other then me turning in the required documents, entails but I can say I am overwhelmingly excited. The main thing is this opens many opportunities for me as well as my family.
I may be able to connect with long lost relatives still living in France. I can pass the language on to my son in a seamless process, and expose him to different things.
This past Christmas he was given a taste of European life, and hopefully with our citizenship he will get more. So for now, I wait with baited breath for the consulate to contact me letting me know that I am now a French citizen.

Sunday, 29 June 2014

The Twilight SyNdRoM

It never fails, I get in the mood for winter time. I get in the mood for a good book, I get nostalgic about places I want to go back to and then pow I run right smack into the craving of reading “Twilight”. However, I end up talking myself into just watching the movies, hey husband isn’t home and there isn’t anything else on television! Every time I start the first movie I am eager to watch it, then it starts and INSTANTLY I am bored out of my mind. I start playing candy crush, I start prioritizing my chores. I even start thinking about what to make for dinner. Once that movie is over you would think I would just give up, but oh no I put in the second and the worst “New Moon.” That one makes me literally want to stab myself in the eye. So much so that I just imagine what it feels like to just push something sharp into my eye.
Now that I am more than invested I pop in the better movie, “Eclipse”. I start paying attention, I even get interested.  Until I get to the part where Bella graduates, and I start to once again get bored. This time instead of wanting to self-inflict some pain I want to hurt Kristen Stewart. That and I really want to give her some laxatives so maybe she won’t seem so “emotionally constipated” any more. About this time I start to wonder if I should have just read the books again, they are good. At least they hold my attention much better than the movies ever could and I don’t feel like kicking Bella’s ass.
Once that movie is over I take a break, after all I just powered through a ton of crap. By this time I try to convince myself that I should just give up, after all the movies do not get any better than this. I will only set myself up for disappointment if I continue on. Somehow, I end up convincing myself to just put in “Breaking Dawn part 1”. I’m sad to say that does nothing for me, in fact this time instead of wanting to hurt Kristen Stewart, I now desperately want to kick Taylor Lautner in the balls. Why can’t these people act? They are being paid a good deal more then I make in a year, can’t they at least buy some lessons? Why on God’s green earth did the studio allow this train wreck to continue? A train wreck I might add that cannot be watched without vomiting a little. By the time I throw the last movie in, I start to wonder why in the hell I even started watching these damn movies in the first place.
I am now at the point where I think I could create a better version of the books. I could come up with a more substantial movie that isn’t full of CRAP! At last it is all over, and there are no more movies, and I don’t have to watch Kristen Stewart try to not poop her pants.
That is until I get the urge to watch the damn movies again.

Twilight. Dir. Melissa Rosenburg. Perf. Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson. 2008. Film.

Sunday, 22 June 2014

Wondering what to do with this.

After school the next day Sarah sat in the warm coffee shop at near the east side of campus. Not a lot of kids went there because it was so far out of the way, but it was quite. Her house had been turned upside down with the arrival of movers bringing some of Kathy’s things from Houston.  To keep herself from thinking about her stepsister’s impeding move Sarah felt it best to leave the situation all together. She shifted through her Jane Eyre book trying to figure out what chapter she wanted to discuss in her newest essay due just before Christmas break when her cell phone buzzed beside her. Picking up the calculator sized phone she pressed the answering button without looking at the number calling.
“Where are you?” Scott said. Shouts and laughter filled in the background of where ever he was at. She rolled her eyes as images of him at a circus came to mind.
“I’m at a coffee shop.” She answered casually. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to tell him where she was. When he was around all she could was look at him, and feel her mouth go dry whenever he looked up from what he was doing.  He was always with her when he wasn’t even around, always on her mind. Every day it took more and more effort not to tell him how she felt because he was her only friend. She had attempted to may another friend, a fellow nerd in her English lit class, but that had been fruitless. As it turns out Sarah wasn’t very socially graceful as she liked to think. If a person didn’t come from the imagination of an author she didn’t know how to interact with them. Which was why her relationship with Scott was so important, he liked being around her and wasn’t put off with her neediness.
“Well, you need to come to the frat house before I kill your brother?”
She laughed. “Why what has he done?”
Scott groaned on the other end of the phone. Then he pulled the phone away from his mouth so he could scream some obscenities at whoever was behind him.  A rumple of clothing sounded in the receiver as he pressed the phone against his body, she could hear his voice muffled.
“Please, can I come over? I have a calculus test in the morning and your stupid brother decided to throw an all nighter.”
No! She thought to herself, then she figured there was no way out of it. She was going to have to spend time with her friend. Inwardly she groaned. “Sure, meet me there. I should be there in about five minutes after I pack my stuff.”
They hung up and she leisurely took her time putting her things away. Being alone with Scott wasn’t going to help this budding feeling she had about him inside of her heart. After their dinner slash date she wasn’t sure where the boundary lines were anymore. When he dropped her off she was sure he was going to kiss her right there on her front porch right under the light so everyone could see. When he didn’t she was actually disappointed. However, she couldn’t blame him, she was after all a simple girl.
She hardly wore any makeup and her go to outfit always included jeans, when she was home she lounged in some kind of sweat pants. She sighed as she tugged her back over her shoulder, it was now or never.
Scott was sitting on the stairs reading a book when she got home. He looked up the seconded her footsteps echoed off the concrete. He smiled and it did funny things to her insides. First by making her breathing go faster and then her heart to plummet in her stomach. She had to convince herself to look away before he noticed the blush warming her cheeks.
“Are you warm?” he asked touching his cool hand to her cheek.
She shook her head, proceeding to unlock the door. “I was just walking fast.” She rolled her eyes making her way into her cool house. The weather outside wasn’t extremely hot this time of year but today had been unseasonably warm.  Scott plopped down on the couch as though he lived there with her. He grabbed the remote control off of the coffee table and began to surf through the channels.
“I thought you said you had some calculus test to study for?” she hollered from the kitchen.
“I do, but I need to unwind first. All that partying going on has got me in the mood to do something.”
“Like what?” she said taking a seat next to him holding a bottle of water. Scott sat up took the bottle from her taking a long pull of it and then handing it back to her. “I don’t know.” He shrugged. “What do you want to do?”
Sarah bit her lip before the words. “I need to study, “ came tumbling out of her mouth.  He blinked at her while waiting for her to respond. His brown eyes blinking, staring right into hers, again her mouth went dry as it always did when he was around.
“We could go see a movie.” She finally said.
“What do you wanna see?”  he laid his head on her shoulder as a boyfriend would do to his girlfriend. His left arm draped along her stomach, with his hand dangerously close to her right breast.  She stiffened with the unknown knowledge of what to do. How did he get so comfortable with her so fast? Last night had been the closest to being more than a friend they had ever gotten, and that was still platonic.
“We could go see “Snatch”?” He suggested.
He had only talked about the Guy Ritchie move since it premiered a couple of weeks ago.
“Ok.” She said.
Scott picked his head up off of her shoulder then kissed her gently on the cheek. He interlocked his fingers with in hers and smiled. “Make sure you bring a sweater you know how the theaters are freezing.”
She nodded, though she didn’t move. They remained very still, blinking at one another.
“How many times have you been kissed?” he whispered.
She shrugged and swallowed nothing down her dry throat. “A couple of times.”
He nodded in understanding. She watched as his large hand ran through his soft brown hair, the look of thought in his eyes. He was thinking so hard she could see the wheels turning in his head.
“If I kiss you now then we can stop being so nervous around each other.” He stated.
“You’re nervous?” she nervously laughed. “You don’t seem like it.” She answered after he shook his head.
“I have wanted to kiss you for some time but you make me so very nervous.”
“I make you nervous.” She wasn’t buying it. “You..”
He interrupted her by pressing his lips against hers. They felt soft and wet against her mouth. His tongue darted out tracing the seam to her lips begging for admittance. She only obliged when he ran his fingers through her hair and pressed her body to his. The kiss deepen, all thoughts of the movie began to vanish as did her fear that she was just to plain for Scott.
“Wow.” He breathed breaking the kiss.
Dizzy Sarah just grinned like a goofy school girl.
“Again?” he whispered bringing his lips to hers again. This time they were cut short when the front door was pushed open. Kate walked in with her hands on her hips. “You two are always together.” she snapped. “I’m tired.” She announced. “What are you doing tonight?” she shut the front door behind her then took a seat on the couch. “I think I might head out to your frat house Scott.” She smiled at him with wide wanting eyes.
“That’s cool.” He said taking a few steps away from Sarah. She was relieved he did that, without him knowing that she wanted him too. Kate could never know about Sarah’s feelings for Scott, it would only lead to a mess, and then she would take him away from Sarah. Something Sarah was all too familiar with since she had first met Kate some many years ago.
“Ugh you two are so boring.”