Sunday, 13 July 2014

Becoming French

So I have begun the process of registering my birth with the French government. My mother's entire side, including herself, are from France. So when I thought about it I decided it was time to get my citizenship. This is a part of my ancestry that I do not want lost because my mother was too busy doing whatever to make sure I was granted my citizenship.
While waiting for my new birth certificate in the mail I find myself going through a number of emotions. Some excitement and other nervous.
I am not sure what the entire process, other then me turning in the required documents, entails but I can say I am overwhelmingly excited. The main thing is this opens many opportunities for me as well as my family.
I may be able to connect with long lost relatives still living in France. I can pass the language on to my son in a seamless process, and expose him to different things.
This past Christmas he was given a taste of European life, and hopefully with our citizenship he will get more. So for now, I wait with baited breath for the consulate to contact me letting me know that I am now a French citizen.

Sunday, 29 June 2014

The Twilight SyNdRoM

It never fails, I get in the mood for winter time. I get in the mood for a good book, I get nostalgic about places I want to go back to and then pow I run right smack into the craving of reading “Twilight”. However, I end up talking myself into just watching the movies, hey husband isn’t home and there isn’t anything else on television! Every time I start the first movie I am eager to watch it, then it starts and INSTANTLY I am bored out of my mind. I start playing candy crush, I start prioritizing my chores. I even start thinking about what to make for dinner. Once that movie is over you would think I would just give up, but oh no I put in the second and the worst “New Moon.” That one makes me literally want to stab myself in the eye. So much so that I just imagine what it feels like to just push something sharp into my eye.
Now that I am more than invested I pop in the better movie, “Eclipse”. I start paying attention, I even get interested.  Until I get to the part where Bella graduates, and I start to once again get bored. This time instead of wanting to self-inflict some pain I want to hurt Kristen Stewart. That and I really want to give her some laxatives so maybe she won’t seem so “emotionally constipated” any more. About this time I start to wonder if I should have just read the books again, they are good. At least they hold my attention much better than the movies ever could and I don’t feel like kicking Bella’s ass.
Once that movie is over I take a break, after all I just powered through a ton of crap. By this time I try to convince myself that I should just give up, after all the movies do not get any better than this. I will only set myself up for disappointment if I continue on. Somehow, I end up convincing myself to just put in “Breaking Dawn part 1”. I’m sad to say that does nothing for me, in fact this time instead of wanting to hurt Kristen Stewart, I now desperately want to kick Taylor Lautner in the balls. Why can’t these people act? They are being paid a good deal more then I make in a year, can’t they at least buy some lessons? Why on God’s green earth did the studio allow this train wreck to continue? A train wreck I might add that cannot be watched without vomiting a little. By the time I throw the last movie in, I start to wonder why in the hell I even started watching these damn movies in the first place.
I am now at the point where I think I could create a better version of the books. I could come up with a more substantial movie that isn’t full of CRAP! At last it is all over, and there are no more movies, and I don’t have to watch Kristen Stewart try to not poop her pants.
That is until I get the urge to watch the damn movies again.

Twilight. Dir. Melissa Rosenburg. Perf. Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson. 2008. Film.

Sunday, 22 June 2014

Wondering what to do with this.

After school the next day Sarah sat in the warm coffee shop at near the east side of campus. Not a lot of kids went there because it was so far out of the way, but it was quite. Her house had been turned upside down with the arrival of movers bringing some of Kathy’s things from Houston.  To keep herself from thinking about her stepsister’s impeding move Sarah felt it best to leave the situation all together. She shifted through her Jane Eyre book trying to figure out what chapter she wanted to discuss in her newest essay due just before Christmas break when her cell phone buzzed beside her. Picking up the calculator sized phone she pressed the answering button without looking at the number calling.
“Where are you?” Scott said. Shouts and laughter filled in the background of where ever he was at. She rolled her eyes as images of him at a circus came to mind.
“I’m at a coffee shop.” She answered casually. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to tell him where she was. When he was around all she could was look at him, and feel her mouth go dry whenever he looked up from what he was doing.  He was always with her when he wasn’t even around, always on her mind. Every day it took more and more effort not to tell him how she felt because he was her only friend. She had attempted to may another friend, a fellow nerd in her English lit class, but that had been fruitless. As it turns out Sarah wasn’t very socially graceful as she liked to think. If a person didn’t come from the imagination of an author she didn’t know how to interact with them. Which was why her relationship with Scott was so important, he liked being around her and wasn’t put off with her neediness.
“Well, you need to come to the frat house before I kill your brother?”
She laughed. “Why what has he done?”
Scott groaned on the other end of the phone. Then he pulled the phone away from his mouth so he could scream some obscenities at whoever was behind him.  A rumple of clothing sounded in the receiver as he pressed the phone against his body, she could hear his voice muffled.
“Please, can I come over? I have a calculus test in the morning and your stupid brother decided to throw an all nighter.”
No! She thought to herself, then she figured there was no way out of it. She was going to have to spend time with her friend. Inwardly she groaned. “Sure, meet me there. I should be there in about five minutes after I pack my stuff.”
They hung up and she leisurely took her time putting her things away. Being alone with Scott wasn’t going to help this budding feeling she had about him inside of her heart. After their dinner slash date she wasn’t sure where the boundary lines were anymore. When he dropped her off she was sure he was going to kiss her right there on her front porch right under the light so everyone could see. When he didn’t she was actually disappointed. However, she couldn’t blame him, she was after all a simple girl.
She hardly wore any makeup and her go to outfit always included jeans, when she was home she lounged in some kind of sweat pants. She sighed as she tugged her back over her shoulder, it was now or never.
Scott was sitting on the stairs reading a book when she got home. He looked up the seconded her footsteps echoed off the concrete. He smiled and it did funny things to her insides. First by making her breathing go faster and then her heart to plummet in her stomach. She had to convince herself to look away before he noticed the blush warming her cheeks.
“Are you warm?” he asked touching his cool hand to her cheek.
She shook her head, proceeding to unlock the door. “I was just walking fast.” She rolled her eyes making her way into her cool house. The weather outside wasn’t extremely hot this time of year but today had been unseasonably warm.  Scott plopped down on the couch as though he lived there with her. He grabbed the remote control off of the coffee table and began to surf through the channels.
“I thought you said you had some calculus test to study for?” she hollered from the kitchen.
“I do, but I need to unwind first. All that partying going on has got me in the mood to do something.”
“Like what?” she said taking a seat next to him holding a bottle of water. Scott sat up took the bottle from her taking a long pull of it and then handing it back to her. “I don’t know.” He shrugged. “What do you want to do?”
Sarah bit her lip before the words. “I need to study, “ came tumbling out of her mouth.  He blinked at her while waiting for her to respond. His brown eyes blinking, staring right into hers, again her mouth went dry as it always did when he was around.
“We could go see a movie.” She finally said.
“What do you wanna see?”  he laid his head on her shoulder as a boyfriend would do to his girlfriend. His left arm draped along her stomach, with his hand dangerously close to her right breast.  She stiffened with the unknown knowledge of what to do. How did he get so comfortable with her so fast? Last night had been the closest to being more than a friend they had ever gotten, and that was still platonic.
“We could go see “Snatch”?” He suggested.
He had only talked about the Guy Ritchie move since it premiered a couple of weeks ago.
“Ok.” She said.
Scott picked his head up off of her shoulder then kissed her gently on the cheek. He interlocked his fingers with in hers and smiled. “Make sure you bring a sweater you know how the theaters are freezing.”
She nodded, though she didn’t move. They remained very still, blinking at one another.
“How many times have you been kissed?” he whispered.
She shrugged and swallowed nothing down her dry throat. “A couple of times.”
He nodded in understanding. She watched as his large hand ran through his soft brown hair, the look of thought in his eyes. He was thinking so hard she could see the wheels turning in his head.
“If I kiss you now then we can stop being so nervous around each other.” He stated.
“You’re nervous?” she nervously laughed. “You don’t seem like it.” She answered after he shook his head.
“I have wanted to kiss you for some time but you make me so very nervous.”
“I make you nervous.” She wasn’t buying it. “You..”
He interrupted her by pressing his lips against hers. They felt soft and wet against her mouth. His tongue darted out tracing the seam to her lips begging for admittance. She only obliged when he ran his fingers through her hair and pressed her body to his. The kiss deepen, all thoughts of the movie began to vanish as did her fear that she was just to plain for Scott.
“Wow.” He breathed breaking the kiss.
Dizzy Sarah just grinned like a goofy school girl.
“Again?” he whispered bringing his lips to hers again. This time they were cut short when the front door was pushed open. Kate walked in with her hands on her hips. “You two are always together.” she snapped. “I’m tired.” She announced. “What are you doing tonight?” she shut the front door behind her then took a seat on the couch. “I think I might head out to your frat house Scott.” She smiled at him with wide wanting eyes.
“That’s cool.” He said taking a few steps away from Sarah. She was relieved he did that, without him knowing that she wanted him too. Kate could never know about Sarah’s feelings for Scott, it would only lead to a mess, and then she would take him away from Sarah. Something Sarah was all too familiar with since she had first met Kate some many years ago.
“Ugh you two are so boring.”

Monday, 16 June 2014

My new project...

My three inch high heels dug into the retched mud, while brown water slipped in over the sides of my shoe moistening my stockings.  D.I.’s were walking a head of me, their big feet sloshing through the mud like horses. No matter how hard I tried, I could not manage to dodge their pitfalls. Sergeant Cooper walked beside me as he talked about the latest victim we were now approaching. I could hear everything he was saying but all I could concentrate on were my father’s words. “You shouldn’t get a job, you should find a husband.”
I was clerical support at Scotland Yard, not some bloody detective. Yet, here I was walking through the mud with a notepad in my hand, my other clinging to my trench coat pulling it tighter around my body trying to fight off the frigid cold. I clinched my teeth together in hopes D.I. Ben Harper was not present. The man loved filling my desk with his paperwork, and ordering me to fetch him some coffee. My jaw was aching by the time I reached the circle of detectives. They gathered around the poor girl like vultures. All of them with their hands deep inside their pockets. Hats covering their hair and coats flapping behind them. I pulled my coat tighter around me, almost dropping my notepad.
“Brilliant.” Said a familiar and irritating voice.
I smiled brightly, still shivering from the bitter cold but I tried not to let my teeth clatter. “D.I. Harper.”
“Do you need to borrow my pencil?” he handed me his pencil before I could answer.
I began to protest but he pointed to my broken pencil underneath my foot that was almost buried under the mud. My cheeks began to burn.
“I hope you brought a handkerchief as well.” He snorted. “This is no place for a lady.”
“I know that.” I snapped. “I was told I needed to be here since Lois is still out sick.”    
He held his hands up in defense then walked away from me.
I glared at his back wishing I had something witty to say to him. He had served in the war and came back different. That was what everyone at Scotland Yard had said. I have only known him for six months. I wondered if had always been so very annoying and quick to point out mistakes. I knew he was laughing at me, I bit back the tears and swallowed down the lump building in my throat. I wanted to be sweet to him, only because of his serves to the Queen and country, but really I wanted to hurt him as much as I could. Going to war with the Germans did not give him a right to belittle me on a constant basis.
“Now, I want you to pay close attention to the victim’s throat.” The medical examiner said loudly. I walked around the left of the circle of D.I.’s. Though I did not want to see this poor girl up close I knew I was required to. I held my notepad tightly in my hands only to keep them from shaking. My knuckles were red from either the cold or my tight grip. I bit my bottom lip then stepped again closer to the body.
There in front of me was some poor girl, who looked no older than me. Her blonde hair stuck to the side of her face and forehead. No blood as far as I could see. Her eyes were wide open, as was her mouth. She looked straight up at the sky like she was looking for the sun hidden behind the clouds. Around her neck were little marks I could barely see but the examiner said he was sure they were caused by a small rope. Her hands were laid at her sides, palms facing down. Her legs were spread wide open, and her stockings gathered at her ankles.
My stomach began to lurch as my imagination began to run off. I could only imagine how scared this girl was. I turned on my heel afraid I was going to vomit, they air seemed to run away from me. I tried walking towards the nearest tree, only to save my dignity.
It was D.I. Harper coming to haunt me at my most vulnerable. I didn’t turn around, I knew if I saw that poor girl again I was going to vomit. At least having her at my back helped.
“Are you alright?” he said, I could hear his sloshy footsteps coming closer to my side. “I saw you turn a bit green over there.”
“This is my first body.” I whispered. “I…” I broke off as an unexpected wave of emotion took over and I began to cry.

“Tis alright.” He said lighting a cigarette. “This is after all not a place for a lady.” 

Monday, 2 June 2014

Game of Thrones WTF!

Last night’s episode once again gave me hope that maybe Ceresi Lannaster was finally going to suffer. Only once again to be let down. I knew Oberyn Nymeros Martell was getting cocky as he fought the Mountain, still I had hope. I had thought that just this once, things have to go in favor of Tyrion. However, I was wrong. So now one of the most important characters is going to be killed for a crime he did not commit. Sound familiar? Oh that is right the same thing happened to NED STARK!!!!
The killing is getting a little old, the Lannasters always winning is getting a little old. Things are really starting to become familiar and ..dare I say it…predictable. I really hate to mention this too but I think the story is becoming a little overstretched.
Now with the fight in the North at the wall looming over our heads I have already predicted Jon Snow is going to die. Why? BECAUSE HE IS A STARK!!! I literally have dreams of him leaving the brotherhood and going back to Winterfell claiming it back. Why don’t the Lannasters see him as a threat? Oh I know why because they are the Lannisters. The only one who finally got what was seriously coming to him was Joffery.
The one good thing that had me cheering was that Sansa Stark has finally gotten a back bone, or she has finally snapped. Was it my eyes adjusting or did Sansa color her hair to a darker shade? Is she trying to look more like her mother to please Litterfinger? Or is she going to manipulate him? Either way that should be interested, as long as something stupid does not happen. Such as her little sister Aria leaving the veil because her aunt is dead. Now that the promise of money is gone what will the Hound do with Aria..oh let me guess..KILL HER? (I am literally rolling my eyes here.)
This show was so good, and I do not know what happened. The stories are too all over the place, the characters are not explored enough. Such as Daenerys, and for crying out loud Jon Snow. I sometimes feel this show should just change its name to the “Lannaster Fun Hour.”
I understand they have to introduce new story lines and also refer back to old ones because there is so much going on. At times when they do introduce or complete plots they often do so as though they are trying to fill up space An example of this would be Grey Worm's budding romance.
I do not feel as though the action is building anymore. In fact this upcoming fight at the wall is limp, there has not been enough hype to get anyone excited. Which is why I am already disappointed and will be even more so when Jon dies…not to say he is I honestly do not know I am just guessing. Then there is the never ending hard on with Daenerys, come on when is she finally going to get her iron throne back? I mean we have been building up to that for what three seasons now?
After last season's “Red Wedding” I have no doubt in my mind something explosive will happen. I just wonder if it will be the same tired and over used explosive ending. Meaning a Stark will die or anyone else who DARES to go against the Lannasters. What would really shock me is someone NOT dying. Such as Tyrion, or Jon Snow or even Theon Greyjoy. (BTW poor guy should be put out of his misery…I mean Reek should be put out of his misery.)

Monday, 26 May 2014

What I wanna Study...

Often times I am asked a silly question of what it is I want to study, to eventually write about. I find myself going back the fifth grade where I was introduced to the English Monarchy. Since then I have always been so very fascinated. I don't know if the appeal of the monarchy is the drama of it or the simple fact that we in the US do not have royals. I am not so into the scandals, ie who slept with what cousin..blah blah. I am more interested in the politics. The stories behind the people wearing the crown or claiming to have a stake in the crown.
I was in the mood to watch a period peace so I watched a mini series on Elizabeth I. I have to say she must have been a complicated woman. A lonely woman mainly, but extremely intelligent. and complicated I might want to study her only to know what made her tick.
Hell even Elizabeth II is interesting in her own rod iron back way.
My fingers are already itching to write something in that period with some kind of scandal! The inspiration from real life is something one can simply not make up.
I mean Elizabeth and her cousin Mary, going back and forth over who was a heretic! The fight over a crown from brother to brother is gold when trying to come up with something new.
I am getting inspired now while thinking about it!
Of course this all makes me think of Game of Thrones. All the backstabbing, and undermining is something I don't know if I could ever come up with. I find myself deconstructing the story while watching it just to try and figure out a way I could come up with something just as compelling. Even though I hate using an outline, I am finding it is very important when trying to keep ideas strait. Or even to keep them consistent. Of course a map wouldn't hurt...HBO! Sorry side note that I really need a map for Game Of Thrones...I don't wanna navigate my computer during the show.
So the challenge this week is to come up with a complicated character that is both likable and hated. Kind of like the love hate relationship I have with Jamie Lanaster.
I'm off to start that journey wish me luck and Keep It Nerdy!!!


Martin, George R.R. Game Of Thrones. Bantam Books, 1996. Print.
"Winter is Coming." Game of Thrones. HBO. New York. 17 April, 2011. Television. 

Sunday, 18 May 2014

You're such a.....(Fill in the blank)

Have you ever had someone at work who you just couldn't please? 
No matter how many I's you dot or T's you cross, you just can't seem to get anything right! I mean you can write a simple email, write a simple letter-that is mind you already drafted all you do is change the names-yet you can not get it right? The person who you can't please just doesn't like anything you produce! Do you know how frustrating that is? Do you know how belittling it feels? 
I don't understand even when I draft an email using the same dialogue he approved or wrote on previous emails, yet I still can not seem to get anything right.
I am now at the point where I don't even put any effort into what I do, why should I? After all it is just going to be wrong? 
So how to handle to this? 
Other than crying my eyes out I am not sure what can be done. I have worked with some difficult people in my day but NOTHING like this. There is just no pleasing this person. What is worse is he shouldn't even be there anymore! I am suppose to be taking his place, and it has been almost three months. 
All I want to do is to do my job well. I want to be good at what I do. I am tired of "getting" things wrong. I am sick of being told how much of a disappointment I am.  Especially, when I am not doing anything wrong! I know how to write a damn letter! I know how to ask for information, there is no need to call the person I just spoke with right back to see if I am wrong! 
All this has caused me so much stress and it makes me wonder just how stupid I really am. I try to do things to make myself feel better such as: "Buck up girl you got a B in Statistics". 
I just don't know what to do aside from blowing my lid! 
I am so close to screaming at him that if I don't do it now I might implode! 
I'd love to hear if anyone has any ideas how to handle this, or even other work nightmare stores! 
Until then..deep breath and Keep it Nerdy!