My new project...

My three inch high heels dug into the retched mud, while brown water slipped in over the sides of my shoe moistening my stockings.  D.I.’s were walking a head of me, their big feet sloshing through the mud like horses. No matter how hard I tried, I could not manage to dodge their pitfalls. Sergeant Cooper walked beside me as he talked about the latest victim we were now approaching. I could hear everything he was saying but all I could concentrate on were my father’s words. “You shouldn’t get a job, you should find a husband.”

I was clerical support at Scotland Yard, not some bloody detective. Yet, here I was walking through the mud with a notepad in my hand, my other clinging to my trench coat pulling it tighter around my body trying to fight off the frigid cold. I clinched my teeth together in hopes D.I. Ben Harper was not present. The man loved filling my desk with his paperwork, and ordering me to fetch him some coffee. My jaw was aching by the time I reached the circle of detectives. They gathered around the poor girl like vultures. All of them with their hands deep inside their pockets. Hats covering their hair and coats flapping behind them. I pulled my coat tighter around me, almost dropping my notepad.
“Brilliant.” Said a familiar and irritating voice.

I smiled brightly, still shivering from the bitter cold but I tried not to let my teeth clatter. “D.I. Harper.”

“Do you need to borrow my pencil?” he handed me his pencil before I could answer.

I began to protest but he pointed to my broken pencil underneath my foot that was almost buried under the mud. My cheeks began to burn.

“I hope you brought a handkerchief as well.” He snorted. “This is no place for a lady.”
“I know that.” I snapped. “I was told I needed to be here since Lois is still out sick.”    

He held his hands up in defense then walked away from me.

I glared at his back wishing I had something witty to say to him. He had served in the war and came back different. That was what everyone at Scotland Yard had said. I have only known him for six months. I wondered if had always been so very annoying and quick to point out mistakes. I knew he was laughing at me, I bit back the tears and swallowed down the lump building in my throat. I wanted to be sweet to him, only because of his serves to the Queen and country, but really I wanted to hurt him as much as I could. Going to war with the Germans did not give him a right to belittle me on a constant basis.

“Now, I want you to pay close attention to the victim’s throat.” The medical examiner said loudly. I walked around the left of the circle of D.I.’s. Though I did not want to see this poor girl up close I knew I was required to. I held my notepad tightly in my hands only to keep them from shaking. My knuckles were red from either the cold or my tight grip. I bit my bottom lip then stepped again closer to the body.

There in front of me was some poor girl, who looked no older than me. Her blonde hair stuck to the side of her face and forehead. No blood as far as I could see. Her eyes were wide open, as was her mouth. She looked straight up at the sky like she was looking for the sun hidden behind the clouds. Around her neck were little marks I could barely see but the examiner said he was sure they were caused by a small rope. Her hands were laid at her sides, palms facing down. Her legs were spread wide open, and her stockings gathered at her ankles.

My stomach began to lurch as my imagination began to run off. I could only imagine how scared this girl was. I turned on my heel afraid I was going to vomit, they air seemed to run away from me. I tried walking towards the nearest tree, only to save my dignity.

“Judy?”

It was D.I. Harper coming to haunt me at my most vulnerable. I didn’t turn around, I knew if I saw that poor girl again I was going to vomit. At least having her at my back helped.

“Are you alright?” he said, I could hear his sloshy footsteps coming closer to my side. “I saw you turn a bit green over there.”

“This is my first body.” I whispered. “I…” I broke off as an unexpected wave of emotion took over and I began to cry.

“Tis alright.” He said lighting a cigarette. “This is after all not a place for a lady.” 

Game of Thrones WTF!

Last night’s episode once again gave me hope that maybe Ceresi Lannaster was finally going to suffer. Only once again to be let down. I knew Oberyn Nymeros Martell was getting cocky as he fought the Mountain, still I had hope. I had thought that just this once, things have to go in favor of Tyrion. However, I was wrong. So now one of the most important characters is going to be killed for a crime he did not commit. Sound familiar? Oh that is right the same thing happened to NED STARK!!!!
The killing is getting a little old, the Lannasters always winning is getting a little old. Things are really starting to become familiar and ..dare I say it…predictable. I really hate to mention this too but I think the story is becoming a little overstretched.
Now with the fight in the North at the wall looming over our heads I have already predicted Jon Snow is going to die. Why? BECAUSE HE IS A STARK!!! I literally have dreams of him leaving the brotherhood and going back to Winterfell claiming it back. Why don’t the Lannasters see him as a threat? Oh I know why because they are the Lannisters. The only one who finally got what was seriously coming to him was Joffery.
The one good thing that had me cheering was that Sansa Stark has finally gotten a back bone, or she has finally snapped. Was it my eyes adjusting or did Sansa color her hair to a darker shade? Is she trying to look more like her mother to please Litterfinger? Or is she going to manipulate him? Either way that should be interested, as long as something stupid does not happen. Such as her little sister Aria leaving the veil because her aunt is dead. Now that the promise of money is gone what will the Hound do with Aria..oh let me guess..KILL HER? (I am literally rolling my eyes here.)
This show was so good, and I do not know what happened. The stories are too all over the place, the characters are not explored enough. Such as Daenerys, and for crying out loud Jon Snow. I sometimes feel this show should just change its name to the “Lannaster Fun Hour.”
I understand they have to introduce new story lines and also refer back to old ones because there is so much going on. At times when they do introduce or complete plots they often do so as though they are trying to fill up space An example of this would be Grey Worm's budding romance.
I do not feel as though the action is building anymore. In fact this upcoming fight at the wall is limp, there has not been enough hype to get anyone excited. Which is why I am already disappointed and will be even more so when Jon dies…not to say he is I honestly do not know I am just guessing. Then there is the never ending hard on with Daenerys, come on when is she finally going to get her iron throne back? I mean we have been building up to that for what three seasons now?
After last season's “Red Wedding” I have no doubt in my mind something explosive will happen. I just wonder if it will be the same tired and over used explosive ending. Meaning a Stark will die or anyone else who DARES to go against the Lannasters. What would really shock me is someone NOT dying. Such as Tyrion, or Jon Snow or even Theon Greyjoy. (BTW poor guy should be put out of his misery…I mean Reek should be put out of his misery.)

What I wanna Study...

Often times I am asked a silly question of what it is I want to study, to eventually write about. I find myself going back the fifth grade where I was introduced to the English Monarchy. Since then I have always been so very fascinated. I don't know if the appeal of the monarchy is the drama of it or the simple fact that we in the US do not have royals. I am not so into the scandals, ie who slept with what cousin..blah blah. I am more interested in the politics. The stories behind the people wearing the crown or claiming to have a stake in the crown.
I was in the mood to watch a period peace so I watched a mini series on Elizabeth I. I have to say she must have been a complicated woman. A lonely woman mainly, but extremely intelligent. and complicated I might want to study her only to know what made her tick.
Hell even Elizabeth II is interesting in her own rod iron back way.
My fingers are already itching to write something in that period with some kind of scandal! The inspiration from real life is something one can simply not make up.
I mean Elizabeth and her cousin Mary, going back and forth over who was a heretic! The fight over a crown from brother to brother is gold when trying to come up with something new.
I am getting inspired now while thinking about it!
Of course this all makes me think of Game of Thrones. All the backstabbing, and undermining is something I don't know if I could ever come up with. I find myself deconstructing the story while watching it just to try and figure out a way I could come up with something just as compelling. Even though I hate using an outline, I am finding it is very important when trying to keep ideas strait. Or even to keep them consistent. Of course a map wouldn't hurt...HBO! Sorry side note that I really need a map for Game Of Thrones...I don't wanna navigate my computer during the show.
So the challenge this week is to come up with a complicated character that is both likable and hated. Kind of like the love hate relationship I have with Jamie Lanaster.
I'm off to start that journey wish me luck and Keep It Nerdy!!!



References

Martin, George R.R. Game Of Thrones. Bantam Books, 1996. Print.

"Winter is Coming." Game of Thrones. HBO. New York. 17 April, 2011. Television. 

You're such a.....(Fill in the blank)

Have you ever had someone at work who you just couldn't please? 

No matter how many I's you dot or T's you cross, you just can't seem to get anything right! I mean you can write a simple email, write a simple letter-that is mind you already drafted all you do is change the names-yet you can not get it right? The person who you can't please just doesn't like anything you produce! Do you know how frustrating that is? Do you know how belittling it feels? 

I don't understand even when I draft an email using the same dialogue he approved or wrote on previous emails, yet I still can not seem to get anything right.

I am now at the point where I don't even put any effort into what I do, why should I? After all it is just going to be wrong? 

So how to handle to this? 

Other than crying my eyes out I am not sure what can be done. I have worked with some difficult people in my day but NOTHING like this. There is just no pleasing this person. What is worse is he shouldn't even be there anymore! I am suppose to be taking his place, and it has been almost three months. 

All I want to do is to do my job well. I want to be good at what I do. I am tired of "getting" things wrong. I am sick of being told how much of a disappointment I am.  Especially, when I am not doing anything wrong! I know how to write a damn letter! I know how to ask for information, there is no need to call the person I just spoke with right back to see if I am wrong! 

All this has caused me so much stress and it makes me wonder just how stupid I really am. I try to do things to make myself feel better such as: "Buck up girl you got a B in Statistics". 

I just don't know what to do aside from blowing my lid! 

I am so close to screaming at him that if I don't do it now I might implode! 

I'd love to hear if anyone has any ideas how to handle this, or even other work nightmare stores! 

Until then..deep breath and Keep it Nerdy! 

Where the Hell Have I Been?

Life gets in the way of so many things. You want to spend all your time writing on your blog or working on your book but your life demands you pay the bills! You want to get your BA in English Lit. you so may explore the world of English as a teacher or copywriter. But again you have to pay the bills, so you work. Then the family wants you to take trips. AND BOY DID I!!!
I fell in love, that is what happen to me.
I went to Oregon and Washington and I just fell head over heals in LOVE!!!
My heart goes pitter patter every time I think about being in Oregon or Washington. What made it even better was we are planning making Washington our HOME!!! Nothing could make me smile as big as I am right now as this does.
Here I thought the "Veronica Mars" movie was the best thing to happen to this year!
Just yesterday I was thinking nothing could bring my high down, when my son made us go and see "The Amazing SpiderMan 2". Or as I now like to call it the "Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone love story. There were moments where I wanted to go to sleep and I LOVE movies, even romantic movies! I LOVE superhero movies. Hell I'd date Captain America if he were real. However, this was just insulting.
What is going on with stories being too long and coming together only after hours of nonsense? Why is it always one extreme then another. Such as on one hand we have a movie loaded with action and absolutely no story...TRANSFORMERS!!!...then we have a WAY too much story and a brief fart of action. UGH!!!!
So now that I have finally posted something and I've gotten a little off of my chest. I am happy to say I have set up a schedule to get things back to normal!! Soon my fingers will be smoking I'll writing so much.
Until then Keep it Nerdy my friends.

Meat and Potatoes of a story..Conflict

Sorry it has been so long... I promise not to go this long again. I really missed writing on the old blog. Today friends I like to talk a bit about....

Conflict and Obstacles

 

When it comes to writing, I believe the meat and potatoes of the story is the conflict and obstacles each character faces. Character development is also essential. There are many different elements to writing a story, each one just as important as the other.

So I have to ask this.

What if you cannot for the life of you come up with a conflict? Does this mean you are just a well-adjusted individual who obviously doesn’t have much conflict in your own personal life? Or does this mean you are a horrible writer? I wonder if I should just pack it in sometimes! Sure, I come up with the norms such as, they can’t be together because it is forbidden. He’s a vampire, she’s a ghost how will it work?

I have tried to even write a story as one is an addict and the other needs to cure someone in need. I have let a story guide me but I feel as though I am writing the same thing over and over again. How does one get out of this rivet? Are there different conflicts besides the obvious?

I look over my favorite stories as some kind of guide, and though they were written many moons ago some of the same circumstances do not apply? No one that I know of has to get married to survive. So then why not just set those stories in that time period you ask? Sure, but again I struggle.

Then there is the fact that no matter what I write I end up with a sex scene. I don’t want them they just pop up. I think to myself does this even make sense? Does this go with the story? Or, is this necessary? Each time I think about it I say yes. This is the path the characters took me on. Is this my fate to write conflict free porn? UGH!!!

This is why my friends I have not written in a long time. I try and try but I can’t come up with anything. I wonder if I can use things from my own life. They should be relatable right? I find that so boring though. The answer to this dilemma? I guess I just have to keep at it, keep pulling my characters into different directions. The more I keep at it I am sure the better I will be at coming up with a conflict.

2014......

2014

I never really look forward to the end of anything. I don't like change and I defiantly don't like when an adjustment has to be made. However, for the first time something short of a miracle has happened. I am excited about 2014. I am looking at this year with bright eyes and hope.

This is the year I will get a new job, finally move to the state and town that feels like home. I will finally belong somewhere. I will finally be able to try for that second baby that I have waited almost ten years to have. I will finally get the chance to finish my BA program. The best part is my husband is getting a fresh start. After his accident has new and exciting things he can focus on. He is going to be nervous about starting something new but I think this is going to be a good fit for him. Even if I have no idea what the heck database development is.

Last year we had been in escrow, our first house, but sadly my husband had been seriously injured on the job and we lost almost everything. Including the house that I really loved.  Life has been pretty much up and down ever since. We are planners and when things starting going downhill all of our plans went up in flames.

My heart broke for him and our family so many times. I tried to stay strong but I continually felt as though I was a failure. There was nothing I could do to make things right. The more I tried the worse things got.

This year we managed to spend Christmas in Europe and we actually had one of the best Christmas' in a really long time. We brought in the new year with new hope and a new outlook. I am starting to set small obtainable goals for myself to build my self-confidence. The start will be me branching out more and getting a job. From there we will be moving. I am excited and really looking forward to getting out California.

I never wanted to move here when I was little, and the only good that came from here is meeting and marrying my husband. I will not miss this place!!!

To better thing in the near future. To all of you out there who take the time to read my small blog, I hope the new year brings you nothing but happiness!

To end this I need to talk about the Christmas special of Doctor Who that I finally caught. I wasn't able to watch it in Germany!

I cried like a baby, even harder when I thought that Steve Moffat and Matt Smith had changed their minds and the Doctor wasn't going to change. Sadly he did! I am still unsure of this new Doctor but I have to say, this was the second episode that had me blubbering like a small baby! You will be missed Matt Smith, but I also look forward to the projects you will be a part of in the future! Until we meet again…..GERONIMO!!!