Selfishness with a hint of Narcissism

Today I like to reflect on an epidemic that is killing our young. It is nothing you can fight with medicine. This condition is highly contagious and is caused by almost every behavior imaginable. Buying a gift for someone can cause this silent relationship killer. Telling someone they are special, over and over can also create this condition. Telling someone they are pretty can lead to devastating results.
There really isn't any way to keep it from happening, it is after all human nature. We all have a tendency to be, gulp.....selfish. Or so into ourselves that we fall in love with ....ourselves.
However, some are affected more than others. Just so you know there is a scale for selfishness.
Some are just part time selfish, others are career selfish people, then you have the teenage selfish and the worst selfish is drug addict selfish. Narcissism has no scale, you are just way into yourself.
I know none of this makes sense, unless you have been affected by someone who suffers from this condition. Just know there are other people out there who understand what you are going through. If you have no one I will hear your tale of woe! I understand and I know what it feels like to have someone suck the life out of you because they only know how to love themselves.
It isn't easy but you will get through it, and they will get over themselves. Eventually. Or they will end up alone with just themselves, but hey they love themselves so much I guess they would be better off alone.

Feeling a little blue....

I have sadly come to a point where the things I normally do for fun are now annoying. I love reading, but I can't seem to get myself to do it without falling asleep. Writing feels more like a chore suddenly and I am not very happy about feeling as though writing is a stranger suddenly.
The best time of the year is coming around, Fall, and I'm not excited. I feel as though it could just come and go or just not come at all and I wouldn't care.
The only thing that I feel like doing is sleeping. I made myself workout this morning, I made myself open the computer but the more I look at it or the more I write with it the more I want to put it away.
I was given a super complement about my legal writing yesterday but I didn't get the rewarding feeling of a job well done.
Aside from not wanting to write or read, which is horrible in it's self, I have no idea why I am feeling this way. I want to cry until an answer comes to me but that would just take too much time.
I keep thinking it has to do with my current living situation, and the more I am unable to help with that I think that is why I just wanna sleep and do nothing else.
The truth is I'm just making up reasons as to why I am feeling the way I am. The truth maybe something I just don't want to here.
As the days pass and I get closer to my tenth anniversary I am trying to get excited. I am trying to come up with things that we can do but the more I come up with something the more scared I get about leaving. I am not even sure there is anything to be afraid of.
Except there is a leach living among us that doesn't know when he is not wanted. The more I learn of him the more I don't trust him and the less I want to leave him alone with my things. If only I could take a pencil and erase him!
Now how to make myself feel better, that is the one true question I must continue to ask myself!
Until next time I hope you are having a much better time than I am!

Day at the gun range!!

This has been the hardest couple of months I think I have had to endure. So many changes have occurred, my faith has been shaken a bit and to top it off my anxiety has been tested. I have had to resort to taking some anti anxiety meds a couple of times, and if you really knew me you'd know that was a big deal for me. I do not like taking meds. In fact I try to muscle through headaches, and sometimes through migraines. I fail about two hours into the headaches but I try!
So today my husband thought I needed a bit of therapy and since I am all for getting out of the house these days I jumped on the chance to go shooting.
I have to tell you I had a blast! The ear muffs squeezed the crap out of my head, but I had a grand time. I started out shooting a little .22, then I went to my husband's rifle.

The fact I was unable to keep the damn thing in my shoulder bothered me, but I muscled through and I did a grand job! So while I was there I was told I should up my game a little, and by doing so I needed to shoot a .40. I did, and I liked the heavier gun better then the little .22 I started out with. I seemed to do a much better job hitting my target then I had with the .22. Of course my father in law felt I needed to go one more. So I shot a .45! I am a small person and only weigh about 120lbs. Now having said that I was a little nervous about the kick I would get from the gun. However, the kick was the least of my problems. I had a few shells fly into my shirt and burn my skin. That is something I was not prepared for! I am proud of myself for not getting hysterical and waving a loaded gun around while the shell case burned my skin! I laughed it off and mentioned how the firing of a gun smelled an awful lot like firecrackers. Of course that was probably the smell of my burnt flesh! 

So while I was shooting I did get a lot of things out of my system. I just imagined my problems as the target and I shot away. I will admit it was a quick fix and once I got home everything came rushing back again as though I had never left but the fact is I got some relief. I also thought to myself what a fun experience. There was nothing to be afraid of. The entire time I was educated on how to hold the gun to how to load it and switch the safety off. My husband had offered to load my magazines (Terminology may not be accurate!), but I opted to load the magazine myself. At first I found it hard, my left hand isn't every strong and holding down the slide was a bit difficult. I managed to muscle through, and then I loaded the gun. All the while my husband, who has been shooting since he could use the toilet on his own, made sure I did what I was supposed to. He reminded me a few times to keep my finger off the trigger when I wasn't going to shoot or when I was just aiming. All in all I felt really proud of myself for going on this outing. I have always been an advocate for the 2nd Amendment but now I would have to say I UNDERSTAND it. By that I mean I simply get why it is important, and why gun education is the key to losing the fear about guns. If only everyone could take the time to learn a little about guns and gun safety they would see there is nothing to be frighted about. 

Now, I have to say I am not the best little shooter in the world as you can see from my picture! 

I may have been all over the place but I made a few count!! Now I am sure you will see that there is no sign of the .40 or the .45 and I will tell you why! When I shot the .40 I used a different target and the .45 I just didn't hit the mark. I managed to hit the hill side behind the target though!! Ha ha, at least I hit something! 

I think this is going to be a regular thing and who knows perhaps I may purchase my own lady weapon! Look out shooting competitions, I won't enter you but I'm a new spectator!